Today's 5 Silly Questions is a real dog. Actually a fictional dog named Benedict Arnold from Jerrie Alexander's THE GREEN EYED DOLL. Considering The Green Eyed Doll is a dark romantic suspense, I chose the dog's point of view for my silly questions. The serial killer was unavailable.
My name is Benedict Arnold. It's an odd name, but I don't mind. After the gentle lady started coming around, my new master gave it to me. I was living in his barn when he moved in and found me. I don't trust men, but this one feeds me, and the lady likes him, so I stick around. Anything is better than the last place. That master beat, kicked, and called me Stupid. I got out of there the first chance I had.
I sense big trouble. I don't understand. Don't know what to do or how to help. The lady stopped coming around and my master acts angry, but I think he's just sad.
Thanks Benedict. Here's your first question.
1) If I wanted to do a B&E at Catherine's house, which would distract you more: a raw porterhouse or a dead raccoon?
A dead raccoon, for-sure-for-sure. The scent is intoxicating. Shoot, I'd throw myself down on top of him and wallow. You could come and go with me noticing!
My dog, Biscuit, feels similarly Nothing like the fresh scent of road kill to get him to roll.
2) Catherine and Matt are held captive by another serial killer (as opposed to the Green Eyed Doll killer). You can see them tied up in a basement through the small, ground level window. You also smell blood. How do you save them?
For Catherine, I would crash through that window, chew through the rope, and rip out the throat of anyone who tried to stop me. Matt??? Meh...not so much. He does feed me, but we're still working on that trust thing.
So if Jason shows up, I know to hide behind Matt.
3) Who would you rather face in a dark alley: the evil cat from Dogs v. Cats or rabid Lassie?
Bring on rabid Lassie. You've heard I'm too sexy for my shirt? Well, I'm too sexy for my fur. The ladies love me. I'd cure Lassie with my TLC.
Didn't realize you'd take it that way. Moving on...
4) What do you look for in an owner?
Someone I can trust. My previous owner beat me, which is why I have trouble trusting men. You have to earn that from me, and it ain't easy!
5) Which trick would you best recommend for my Cairn Terrier, Biscuit? Mind you, he's pretty stubborn and not a quick learner.
I'll teach him to do the 'beggy' face. He'll sit on his haunches, tilt his head to the side, let his tongue loll out and give you the sad eyes look. It's a great trick, gets a treat every time.
Biscuit's pretty cute as is. Not sure if I want him to learn to beg. I was thinking more along the lines of the dog that fetches beer from the frige in that old Superbowl commercial.